The Perfect Woman I Thought I Had to Be Doesn’t Exist
Let this be your reminder: You don’t have to feel ready to begin.
May 05, 2025I’ve been pouring my heart into building something I care deeply about.
Creating a coaching business. Laying the groundwork. Doing the inner work.
And now I’m standing at the edge —
ready to start sharing my voice,
ready to put myself out there.
But this is where I’m getting stuck.
Because somewhere in the middle of it all… comparison keeps showing up.
I’ll see a coach, a creator, or a teacher online — someone doing what I want to do —
and I start projecting this sense that they’ve got it all figured out.
Their words seem to flow effortlessly.
Their videos look polished.
Their confidence feels unwavering.
And because we’re only seeing the highlight reel,
I find myself creating this idealized version of who I think they are —
and who I think I need to be.
I start doubting myself.
I tell myself I’m not ready.
Not yet.
Not until I feel more clear. More confident. More perfect.
But today, something clicked:
I’ve been chasing a version of “ready” that doesn’t actually exist.
The woman I keep trying to become —
the one who never doubts herself,
who moves through her work with ease,
who speaks with perfect clarity and never hesitates —
she’s not real.
She’s a projection.
A highlight reel stitched together from all the people I admire.
And I’m not saying those women aren’t powerful, talented, or doing kickass work in the world.
I’m saying I’ve been filling in the blanks.
Imagining a version of their process that doesn’t include the mess.
The doubt.
The bloopers.
The late-night spirals.
The clunky first takes.
The reality is, I’ve come a long way.
I’m not where I used to be — and that matters.
Now, when the fear shows up… I see it. I name it.
I feel the doubt creep in, and I hype myself up anyway.
I remind myself I’ve done hard things before. I can do this, too.
Because here’s what I’m learning:
Readiness doesn’t come before action.
It comes through it.
We don’t become confident by waiting to feel confident.
We become confident by trying. By messing up.
By learning.
By doing.
Again and again.
Some days, it feels like I’m standing at the edge —
too scared to jump, but knowing it’s time to trust the leap.
Yes — there’s wisdom in preparation.
In grounding. In honing your craft.
But there’s also a fine line between getting ready and staying stuck.
And every time I choose to show up — even just a little —
I’m chipping away at the wall that’s been holding me back.
So to the woman reading this —
The one who’s comparing.
The one who’s doubting herself.
The one who keeps waiting for the “right moment” to begin…
I see you.
It’s okay to feel fear.
It’s okay to stumble.
It’s okay for your first try (or your fifth) to suck.
That doesn’t mean you’re not ready or not good enough.
It just means you’re human.
Maybe you don’t need to have it all figured out.
Maybe you just need to take the next small step.
Even if your voice shakes. Even if your hands tremble.
You don’t need to be completely ready.
You just need to begin —
wobbly, unsure,
but rooted in the truth
that you’re allowed to grow,
you’re allowed to change your mind,
and you’re allowed to keep becoming.
